BCP's playin soccer

wow. cole playing soccer. it's a trip to watch for sure. during his first game he was incredibly overwhelmed by all the people trying to go after the ball at the same time. it provided for a few funny moments for me and dev. and a few moments of incredible frustration for chas, who was sideline coaching cole the entire time. picture dad on the sidelines all those years ago during church basketball games. right, that's chas' method as well. no worries, we reigned him in and he was able to encourage cole without screaming his brains out by the end of the game :) gotta love the energy and the desire though, right? but i digress.

so the funny moments came when bc would clearly be the only person on his team that was available to kick the ball and then as he approached the ball some sort of a freaky disconnect would occur between his brain and his legs (and his nerves!) and he'd fall down on his rump. this happened no less than four times. i'd say more, but i'm working on not exaggerating :) now the thing is, cole can kick a soccer ball really well. in fact, he and chas kick it around on the driveway a lot and he's even pretty assertive -- dare i say -- while playing with chas. but clearly the moment rolled over him and all his confidence was squashed...but only for a day...

here he is at this saturday's game. there were a few funny moments, but he was so much more assertive and had some great kicks and even a couple of steals.

and one elbow to the eye...but he worked through it like a trooper...

overall, it was great and bc felt so much better about this game. i keep telling him that he's one of the strongest kids i've met so far...physically. his legs are ridiculously strong and his body is just built solid like stone. and it's true...he's got some serious muscles for being six.

bc's challenge, like mine as a child, is in his own head. it took me years YEARS to realize that if i wanted to do something with my body, i could. why didn't i take dance? why didn't i play soccer? why didn't i try out for french horn in seventh grade? i was, after all, sharing second chair in area band during sixth grade. no use trying to blame my mom cause it wouldn't be true. i can still remember thinking that i just knew i wouldn't be able to -- i was PARALIZED by fear...of failing in front of other people.

how ridiculous is that?

how did i know what i could do? i hadn't even tried yet! sheesh! when i was a senior in high school i finally -- and secretly, of course -- tried out for a school play. i only did it cause i only had to tell a joke to audition. i got the part of lead understudy and our director was so impressed (his words, not mine, but i'll own them for sure!) that he made Stacy-got-all-the-main-leads-girl sit out during the saturday afternoon production so i could take a turn in the light. that experience was so empowering it changed my life forever. it might not have been an oscar-worthy performance...or even good...but it FELT good.

and i want bc to FEEL that good feeling you get when you decide to try something and work at it and then DO it. i'm not sure exactly how to do it, but i'm dead determined that this kid is not going to be 18 before he realizes he's SO capable of doing SO much. and before he gets over his fear of not being pefect the first go-round. cause...who is? no one, that's who.

so sunday night we were at a local park. they have a crazy set of monkey bars that are a series of circles that rotate as you cross them. you have to get the swing of it just right to make it to the next circle in time. bc's done it two dozen times before, but couldn't remember how to get that swing this time. so he gave up, huffed for thirty minutes in a corner and refused to let me help him or comfort him.

i always go back and forth in my mind -- let him work it out and see for himself what his choices lead to versus push him a bit to make him step out of his comfort zone and then maybe he'll catch the vision -- and i suppose each time i make a different choice...hopefully based on the Spirit's direction. this time i waited until the end and then went up to him and said the following...it's pretty much a direct quote...

"Cole. i love you. you have done this before. you can do this again. and it's KILLING me to watch you waste this time that you could be using to master this. DON'T BE AFRAID TO WORK HARD AND FAIL. (which is what i was always SO afraid of. i was incredibly emotional at this point as i was talking both to him and to myself as a child, i suppose.) get up, we're doing this. NOW."

and he did....get up AND do it. and i nearly cried for relief and joy and happiness that he went home feeling strong and good about himself and confident in his ability to master his body.

oh how it both gives joy and pain to watch my kids become people. here's hoping they can glean from others' lessons learned (like mine!) so their lives can be filled with more peace and less anxiety, more joy and less suffering, more confidence and less stupid satan telling them they can't do it.

cause you know what stinky pete satan?

YES WE CAN!

and one day we're gonna hear, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!"

Go Cole, go Cole!!!

:)